


record's less than flawless

by mathonwys



Series: Fleet 77-2 [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Hermitblr Space Outlaws AU, Landia has no people skills, Lighthearted, Swearing, because as it turns out i CAN write fic w/o angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29224143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathonwys/pseuds/mathonwys
Summary: Landia had made the mistake of deciding to start walking while Broker was talking, and walked straight into a wall as that sank in. “MEAT BROKER DOWNLOADED THEMSELF INTO MY BRAIN?!”`Not so loud!` the Broker AI chided them. `It’s more like… you downloaded a copy of the Broker into your brain. Congratulations.`-Landia gets in hot water with the ConVex, joins the 77-2 Fleet, gets held at gunpoint after some comedic misadventures, learns more about the virus, and also learns that they’re in way over their head.it’s about an average day for them, really.(tagged as Original Work because of there being no ties to Hermitcraft besides background worldbuilding mentions)
Relationships: Landia (OC) & Milo Quinton (OC), Landia (OC) & The Broker (OC)
Series: Fleet 77-2 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2145558





	record's less than flawless

**Author's Note:**

> huge thanks to the 77-2 discord for the support!  
> cara is @iskall-ium's character, and broker is @betweenlands! (both on tumblr)

Landia’s head really, really hurt. That wasn’t great. They pressed their palm to their forehead and groaned; it was a different kind of _ow_ than migraine-ow, or even white-noise-ow from when they were trying to process Everything At Once, and whatever the case it _really_ sucked and they’d rather that stop happening right now, thanks.

Their headache didn’t listen to their polite request. Their head hasn’t been doing a whole lot of listening to them lately.

Okay. Roll it back. What happened? Landia scrunched their face up. They were sitting upright with their back braced against a wall of some sort. Hands free, legs free, so not captured— or, at least, not restrained. They could hear the faint rumbling hum of something… engine? Definitely an engine for some kinda spacecraft. They’d spent enough time with T1 / Milo / etc to recognize that. Considering that they could somewhat _feel_ it as well as hear it, they were probably up against an outer wall. Neat! That doesn’t narrow it down too much.

You know what would also be cool? If their memory _worked_. Well, that, and if their headache stopped being headache-y enough for them to be able to, like, see. The second one was still a work in progress, and the first might be dead on arrival for now. It wasn’t really a great sign. Their memory had been on the fritz a lot more recently; sure, sometimes they could get stuff mixed up or forget details because of there just being _a lot_ , but huge blank gaps where there should be info on “what did I do yesterday?” was… new.

Wait. They’d talked to Milo about this. _Brain’s haunted_. Then— they’d ended up on the run from the ‘Vex because as it turns out they’re _not_ chill and instead are a full-on space mafia, and they’d been planning to stow away somewhere, and then things started getting Weird with the narrative, and then everything past that point was wiped.

Landia moved their arm from where it was covering their eyes and squinted at their surroundings. Cargo bay. Lots of crates. They were up against a wall, hidden behind a stack of crates (including the one they were pretty sure they’d been intending to shove themself into before being thwarted by pesky things like electronic locks), and had absolutely no idea how they got here. There was no way this was the Blue Orchid ship they’d been looking at, right?

Wait. Blue Orchid. Landia honed in on that fun little detail, because their brain was no longer pelting them with errors.

> _There! That looks good. Landia spots a ship— 77-2 Exploration #4, it says on the side—_
> 
> _Wait, no, okay let’s try that again. Landia sees the awesome spaceship Exploration #4— sees a Blue Orchid-class ship— GOD_ **_DAMNIT_** _._

Huh.

Whatever had been cleverly redacting vital information from their brainmeats is either gone or has chilled out about it. Landia got the feeling it’s probably the latter. Next question: _why?_ Both “why is my brain not being turned into a pinball machine right now” and “why was it pinball machine-ing me in the first place”. The spooky brain ghost apparently didn’t like the idea of them being able to recognize this ship, or even what model of ship it was, and had gotten a bit over-eager and deleted Milo for a hot sec there too…

Wait, no, that was on them, they just straight up forgot Milo existed for a minute. GG, KG.

Their headache was fading enough for them to feel like existing again, which was poggers. Oh, god, are they seriously saying _poggers_ right now? Do people even say “pog” in this day and age? Awful. Anyway, headache going away, that’s cool. Landia wondered how much of it was related to them putting 2 and 2 together, and how much of it was just because of them vibing in a dark room while they got their shit together. Maybe both. Okay, brain’s haunted, they’re stowed away on a starship their brain virus was trying very hard to get them to not think about, now what?

Hm. They really didn’t think this plan through.

The ship suddenly shuddered, and Landia was very thankful that they were still sitting down because if not they would’ve been knocked down like a sad domino. They braced themself against the wall and ran through the worst-case scenarios up until a voice over the PA said “ ** _Alright, beginning docking procedures_** ” in a calm, and also weirdly familiar, tone and they let out a sigh of relief. Okay, not crashing, just docking. Oh, shit, _docking_. If the crew checked out the cargo bay to unload some of this junk, they were screwed.

**Busted** , they thought. They covered their mouth to stifle a laugh, because there was just _something_ about how their brain said it that was really, really funny, like they were a 5 year old caught sneaking into the woods and not a 20-something outlaw about to get caught stowing away on a spaceship. **Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.**

Uh, that’s definitely not how they think to themself. Stuff they think in the general direction of other people when they’re not able to say it out loud, yes. Stuff they think to themself? No. Oh, god, they’re _super_ haunted.

**Door’s open** , they thought in a voice that sounded a lot like the ship’s PA.

Wait, _is_ that the ship? Is the ship’s AI in their brain right now? Landia got the impression of being shrugged at in a “not-quite-but-close-enough” way. Okay, that… That was a _lot_ but also it might as well happen because their life is already _so goddamn weird_. Did they want to risk calling Milo? They’re pretty sure their voice would echo in the cargo hold because that’s probably how acoustics work, and they’re also doing the hiding-in-a-corner thing. Maybe it would be smarter for them to wait until they were on terra firma to ring up their buddy and let him know “hi, turns out my brain malware is an entire goddamn spaceship I just hijacked, howdy doody.”

_Ugh, come on,_ they thought in frustration. If the ship was docked, now was a pretty good time, right? The ship (??? _???_ ** _???_** ) said the door was open, so **might as well go for it**. “Yo,” Landia mumbled as quietly as possible, “can y’cut that out, actually? Kinda weird to have somebody hijackin’ my brain.”

**I could use the PA again** , the AI said in a tone that _might’ve_ been helpful. Landia shook their head because _dangit please don’t blow my cover_ , took a deep breath, got up, and bolted over to the door leading out of the cargo bay. The smaller, people-sized door, not the big “unloading all the cargo” door, because the small door was likely to have less people waiting outside if they’re docked and also it turns out that’s the one that’s unlocked anyway.

Landia grabbed the doorhandle and shoved the large, heavily-plated sliding door open before charging down a corridor. Okay, where’s the exit? Hello, hi, computer, how do I go? How Landia go outside? Landia go home?

**Take a left.**

Okay, cool! Landia took a left. Yep, okay, big important door! Oh, shit, big important door has a big important keypad. Landia cautiously slapped the whatever-its-called, the bit where you put your hand and it goes beep, and it beeped red and that is _not_ good. Ship open door? Please? Open door? Door open?

The door opened, and on the other side was _not_ a docking station. Instead it was just… more ship, which didn’t make a whole lot of sense because that was definitely a “leave the ship and go home” door. Oh, shit, maybe it’d docked to _another ship_. Not good, not good.

That was the least of Landia’s problems, though, because waiting on the other side of the door was an entire whole-ass person. _Uh oh. Definitely busted._

Their expression was neutral bordering on amused as they looked Landia over. Landia themself was rooted to the spot going _uh oh uh oh uh oh_ because this definitely wasn’t a situation they could backflip their way out of. This guy looked pretty serious, too: they had some sort of intimidating presence, like a mafia don or somebody with a master plan, and they had several wires and cables snaking around them (cyborg? Cool!) in a very distinctive Look™. The person tilted their head to the side and then they smirked a little, like they were in on a joke, before turning around and walking away. Landia stayed where they were, mouth open a little bit, as they buffered.

Landia had definitely, absolutely seen that person before. They weren’t sure _where_ , because honestly they knew a lot of people and it was really hard to remember who they met and where, but that person was _very_ familiar and it was definitely going to

bug them

…Hold on.

> _Lan turns around, and they just… can’t see. Or, well, they can, but it’s like something happens between their eyes and their brain— between them and Them— and they can’t tell who’s talking to them, or what they’re saying, or what they look like, or… anything._
> 
> _It’s_
> 
> _not great_
> 
> _“What?” Landia manages. The whoever-it-is talks again in a voice they don’t hear with words they don’t Get, and it’s kind of like when their audio processing gets bad except this time it’s_ **_really_ ** _bad and also usually it doesn’t manifest as “feeling like they’re desyncing from reality”_.

Except this time they’re able to look back on that memory— one of those missing pieces of the puzzle of “how the fuck did I even get here”— and they’re _super_ faceblind but they can remember stand-out details and one of those details is _cyborg with a lot of wires and they look really cool but also like they could be a mafia boss_. Plus that neutral-yet-somewhat-amused look, though in the memory there’d also been an element of surprise that hadn’t been present just now, like back then they hadn’t been expecting to see Landia in specific but _had_ been expecting them this time around.

Point was, they’d just run into the person that’d gotten redacted so hard it made Landia pass out. That person also happened to have been talking to them in the flashback, and their voice was, you guessed it, the same as a) the ship and b) the ship, but in their brain this time.

**Record scratch. Yep, that’s me. I bet you’re wondering how I got here—**

Landia buried their head in their hands and muffled a screech of dismay. “Oh my god please shut up and never say that ever again.”

The AI currently hanging out in their head chuckled. **I’m the Broker, by the way** , it said. **That person you saw is** **_also_ ** **the Broker. So is the ship. Welcome aboard.**

“This is a lot,” Landia groaned. They leaned against the doorframe as they tried to ground themself in here-and-now and not in confusing flashback town. “Why are you in my brain?”

**I’m a virus.**

“Oh, _shit_ , I thought I was doing a fun bit with that.” Landia ran their hands through their hair and clasped the back of their head as they tried to not freak out in a random doorway. The pad of their thumb brushed against the very tiny raised scar on the back of their neck and they made a face. “I— I actually got malware? In my brain?”

**Pretty much.** Landia got the impression that the Broker AI was doing the same in-on-a-joke smirk that the meat Broker had been doing— Oh, ew, _meat Broker_ , that’s an awful term. They… weren’t really sure how else to say it, though. **Malware in the form of someone’s brain scan, but still malware.**

OH, THAT’S A _LOT_. Landia had made the mistake of deciding to start walking while Broker was talking, and walked straight into a wall as that sank in. “MEAT BROKER DOWNLOADED THEMSELF INTO MY _BRAIN?!_ ”

**Not so loud!** the Broker AI chided them. **It’s more like…** **_you_ ** **downloaded a** **_copy_ ** **of the Broker into your brain. Congratulations.**

That is _still_ a lot. Everything is happening so, so much. Landia rubbed their nose where they’d smacked it with the back of their hand. “And— Wait, do I _need_ to talk out loud, or can you read my mind?” …Stupid question. The Broker had already done plenty of fucking with their internal monologue, so there was always room for more of that. Landia took stock of their surroundings, then decided to follow along where they’d seen flesh Broker— NO, EW, THAT’S _WORSE_ — where they’d seen Physical Broker™ head off to instead of bumbling around on their own and getting super lost.

Hey, might as well get the rest of the exposition out of the way. Were the Brokers, like… a singular hivemind-y thing? Wait, did the _KGs_ count as a hivemind? Probably not, or… Wait, maybe, just like— a multiversal one? Oh that’s _super_ weird and Landia’s not sure if they like that. They’re not sure how else to explain it, though

The Broker AI metaphorically cleared its throat and nudged Landia’s scattered thoughts from Point E back to Point A. **Short version: no. Long version: There are** **_hundreds_ ** **of copies of the Broker AI throughout the star system, and probably further than that by now. Self-replicating virus. Most of the copies are passive.**

…And they’d gotten lucky to get one of the ones that _isn’t_.

**More or less. You were getting shot at, so I figured it was time I woke up and gave you a hand.** Landia winced. Right… without the Broker’s help, they’re not sure what would’ve happened to them in that showdown. They might’ve been able to escape, what with their luck and all, but being wounded is never fun and they’d really like to avoid that happening. **Anything else you need cleared up?**

Uh. A lot. Landia was pretty sure there was only so much more info they could take before they needed a power nap, though.

**Cool. Do you want to stay a cryptid or not?**

_Huh?_ Landia slowed their pace and stared up at the ceiling with a raised eyebrow. They weren’t really sure how to emote at somebody in their head, so making faces at a theoretical camera was close enough. Maybe the ship would get a kick out of it… or whoever was checking the security feeds. Maybe wandering the halls aimlessly wasn’t such a great idea, actually, even if they _were_ kinda following somebody that they’d instantly lost track of.

**Nobody knows you’re here except for meat Broker, ship AI Broker, and yours truly. If you want to keep being a stowaway, you can live the dream…** **_or_ ** **you could say hi to the captain.** **_Apparently_ ** **they’re collecting Brokers, despite that being an** **_awful_ ** **idea.** The Broker grumbled something about that **defeating the point**. Landia, meanwhile, considered their options. If the captain knew they had a Broker AI, then that lowered the chances of them getting chucked out the airlock by, uh, a lot.

On the other hand, they were having a _lot_ of fun being a stowaway.

**Nice choice. Map says there’s an unused room on the right.** Landia followed their directions and found themself in, yet again, another storage hold. Them’s the vibes, I guess! **Welcome to ship, uh…** The Broker trailed off, took a moment to confirm something, then snickered. **‘Kakujo Did Nothing Wrong’.**

“I mean, they’re right,” Landia said quietly. They climbed up on a box and dangled their legs off the side. “Oh, jeez, I gotta call Tail. He’s prolly worried about me…“

**You mean Milo?** Oh, great, they’ve noticed the Name Thing. Thankfully, they didn’t ask. Landia wasn’t really sure how much of the KG Thing™ Broker had picked up on, and it was way more than they wanted to get into right now. There’s only so much exposition one man can take. **Go ahead. I’ll let you know if anyone’s heading our way.**

What were they even going to say? Landia wasn’t sure. _Hi, the ConVex want me dead, turns out I have a very illegal viral AI in me, and I’m stowed away on a spaceship going somewhere— no idea where!— and I’ll try to keep in touch?_

They ended up saying that, more or less. As to be expected, Milo was stunned silent.

“ _You,_ ” he said after he got his thoughts together, “ _are a_ **_disaster_** _._ ” Landia gave him a sheepish grin as he ran a hand over his face on video. “ _How do you even keep getting into these situations?_ ”

Landia shrugged. They’d wedged themself in between several boxes, with their legs braced against one and their back against another. It wasn’t very safe, but it felt cool to do. “Wasn’t my fault this time,” they defended themself. “Or, well, all the ‘Vex stuff and the goin’ on the run stuff maybe, but the brain virus ain’t my fault.”

When Milo still looked skeptical, Landia crossed their arms and gave him a defiant glare. “I legit haven’t even messed with linking to anything yet. I mean, I _guess_ I’m linked to the… this—“ They waved a hand aimlessly to gesture at the ship around them. “—‘cause the Broker’s tryin’ to keep me outta trouble ‘cause I’m real set on the being a criminal thing and I should _probably_ be more worried about the fact that they did that than I am right now BUT—“

Milo held up a hand to stop them. “ _Lan. We’ve been over this. Please,_ **_please_ ** _keep it short._ ”

Right. Milo couldn’t keep up with them when they started rambling like this. _Landia_ couldn’t keep up with themself sometimes when they started rambling like this. “I was bein’ good like you told me to be,” they summarized. “Legit, I didn’t screw around with anything until I _already_ had worms. The best I can figure out is either it happened during initial diagnostics— which, like, really really doesn’t sound likely ‘cause that’s all supposed to be safe— or I got it from _you_ somehow.”

Milo went silent.

“…Uh. Milo?” Landia frowned. He didn’t respond— and that was a _very_ familiar expression, uh oh. It was very much the expression of someone realizing he’d just Fucked Up, and that was _not_ encouraging in the slightest. They leaned forward and tapped a couple times on the hologram, which didn’t do a whole lot and didn’t even have fun tactile feedback and what is even the _point_ if you can’t hear your fingernail make fun clicky noises against a screen? “Miiiii-lo. T1? …Tail?”

Milo snapped back to reality and shook his head. “ _I’ll— Hold on. I’ll call you back._ ”

“Wait, what?”

The call disconnected.

**Hm.** Oh, Broker had been listening in. **Eh, I’m sure it’s fine.** Landia couldn’t really bring themself to agree. They scrolled through the entirety of the conversation, then again, and tried to find whatever they said that would’ve led Milo to bail out like that because he only ever does that if something _really_ gets to him. Was it the diagnostics thing? Or… 

Wait, no, they’re an idiot. They’d said they might’ve gotten Broker’d via Milo, and then Milo had (metaphorically) crashed. _Oh, God, I_ **_did_ ** _get it from Milo, didn’t I._

**Milo’s haunted** , Broker said in a sly mimicry of Landia’s own delivery. Landia flailed around a bit in distress, slipped, and crashed down to the floor with a squeak of pain and a very passionate shout of _FUCK_ that was followed up with an even more passionate string of _FUCKFUCKOWOHGODOHSHITFUCKFUCKFUUUUCKKKKKKGHHHHH_ after a couple of the crates fell down on them like a wiggly Jenga tower that’d gotten the bottom block removed. **Uh oh.**

The door to the storage room slammed open. Landia looked up with wide deer-in-headlights eyes from where they were trying to extract themself from under the pile of boxes. Looming over them in the doorway was a tall figure decked out in heavy armor and with a gun at the ready; Landia locked onto the white-gold-red colours of the armor, the shiny fins and two long glowy trails on the helmet, and the two swords holstered alongside the very scary-looking gun, then tried to do mental math on “okay, this person is definitely familiar, but fuck if I know _how_ ”.

**Do you need a hint?** Broker asked. Landia was too busy shitting themself to reply, because there was a _gun_ pointed at them and they really, really do not want that to be happening right now. They’d frozen up as soon as the door opened, and most of their thoughts that _weren’t_ Broker-related were running through ways to get themself out of this mess. **Alright, suit yourself.**

“ _Who are you?!_ ” the mystery person barked. Landia stuttered something incoherent in response. The armored dude’s body language tensed, and Landia scrunched up into a panic huddle as he took aim. Thankfully for Landia, the shot hit the wall in warning instead of actually being an attempt to do murder, but it still wasn’t great for their nerves. “How did you _get here_. Answers. **_Now._** ”

“I’m— I’m Landia?” Landia squeaked. “I— I—“ Oh, god, he was pointing the gun at them again. Why was he pointing the gun at them again?! They still had their own weapons on them, sure, but they were still pinned down and couldn’t make a grab for the Spur fast enough. _I could really use a Prince Charming noooow, or anyone if they could help me somehow—_

“ ** _Easy, Cara,_** ” the Broker said over the intercom. “ ** _They’re with me. Literally._** ” Tall twink with a gun— Cara, apparently?— lowered his gun but kept his eyes trained on the scared-shitless anime protagonist that was now laughing nervously. _Cara?_ Oh, god. That’s one of them fancy outlaws with the really big bounties and a lot of crimes under their belt and a really cool nickname, isn’t it. Uhhh okay they _totally_ know this one, just… just give them a minute. Two swords, cool helmet, Blue Orchid ship… 

Yeah, no, they’ve got nothing. They’re definitely going to die either way, though!

Except maybe not, because Cara kept his gun lowered as he popped off his helmet so Landia could more clearly see him scrutinizing them, or maybe just for convenience of emoting at them in general. His face was splattered with some sort of purple gunk that might’ve actually been _part_ of his face instead of something on it, Landia couldn’t really tell from their vantage point of “being on the floor and also still kinda cowering in fear”; Landia focused on tracing the swirling patterns rather than making eye contact, because eye contact sucks but also they might look less suspicious if it _looked_ like they were making eye contact. “ _You_ have a _Broker AI_?” he asked, dubious.

“Um. Yes?” Landia rubbed the back of their neck. “They live in my brain now, or… something.” Hopefully that would be explanation enough for now. If not, uh, they’d figure it out. Something Broker said earlier clicked, and they perked up. “Are you the captain?”

Cara gave them a bewildered look. “No?” Oh. Dang. That would’ve made things a lot easier. “I’m the _pilot_. And you still haven’t explained how you got here!”

“ ** _They’re with me,_** ” the AI repeated.

“I committed a crime!” Landia said, because they have absolutely no verbal filter.

**Your “acting under pressure” skills needs work,** the Broker noted. Landia faceplanted and wondered if Cara was going to try and shoot them again. Thankfully, he didn’t. Landia wasn’t really sure _why_ , because at least that time they totally had it coming.

“ _Elaborate,_ ” Cara stated in that same tense _I don’t really believe you but I’m going to try to hear you out anyway_ tone. Landia waited a moment and hoped that the Broker would cover for them. Of course, they didn’t, because somehow this was now Landia’s Problem To Fix™ despite about half of the reason they were in this situation being _because_ of the AI living in their head rent-free but you know what that’s okay and they are Totally Coping With This! Definitely! Oh god!

So, Landia tried to explain. They’d been an infobroker (“ **Heh** ,” the Broker said) for various shady organizations including the ConVex, accidentally leaked some sensitive information, and got a bounty slapped on them for a) Knowing Too Much and b) Knowing Too Much, but this time being more in general because having meta knowledge and people _knowing_ you have meta knowledge is not great when you’re in the middle of an indirect galactic turf war. They’d tried to stow away, and then ran into meat Broker who _also_ had been sharing a brain with them for the past couple months and honestly Landia was still trying to get their head around that, and then woken up here and decided to try and hide out until they got somewhere safe where the ConVex wouldn’t turn their bones into limp spaghetti.

Cara had started looking interested as soon as Landia had first mentioned the ConVex, and when they finished their long-winded ramble he nodded and helped move the boxes off of Landia’s back so they could finally stop being on the floor. Landia gave him a grateful look as they wobbled to his feet and leaned against the wall all cool-like… or at least in a way they _hoped_ was cool, because truth be told they were still struggling with having feet right now because their legs had gone a tiny bit numb. “So you’re an outlaw too, then.”

It took Cara saying it for the concept to finally start sinking in. Holy shit, Landia’s an _outlaw_! They’re on the run from the law and also space mafia and also whatever the fuck else, and they have a _bounty_ , and they have cool gunswords, and they’re on a very cool spaceship, and they’re talking to an infamous outlaw Right Now, and this sure is a lot to be happening!

“Thumbs up!” Landia said as they made a peace sign.

Yep, still a disaster. Good for them.

“ ** _I like this one,_** ” Broker said. Landia jumped a little and nearly fell back down. “ ** _They’re…_ ** **interesting** ** _. We should keep them._** ”

Landia flushed, a bit embarrassed. Cara put his hands on his hips and cocked his head to one side. “Are you _sure_ that’s a good idea? They could draw in trouble.”

“ ** _Not more than we can handle._** ” The Broker sounded dismissive, or maybe just very confident in the fleet’s ability. Landia felt a small prickle of annoyance; sure, the Broker was backing them up, but they might as well try and build a case for them being more than just a thembo in the wrong place and wrong time.

Landia raised a hand. “I’m able to do stuff! I know a whole lotta things— I mean, that’s _why_ people want me dead right now— and I was in training to be a pilot before I had to go on the run because of people wanting me dead, and there’s a whole lot more to me than just being a useless yet endearing dweebus that downloaded a Broker!” Cara gave them a Look. Landia tried to come up with anything else that might be convincing. “…I have a guns that turns into a swords?”

The awkward stalemate was interrupted by a burst of music— a solid chunk of [ HYPER★DRIVE ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10cXiNIVEUo)— and Landia rifled through their pockets for their communicator. “Uh, I gotta take this real fast,” they stammered. Cara gave them a suspicious look. “It’s— my—“ Uhhhhhhhhhhh “…brother?” Yeah, no, not convincing at all. Wait, maybe Milo _was_ their brother this time around? He was basically an adopted brother to them no matter the universe, either way… Right, phone still ringing. Landia slid back into the disorganized box heap and clicked “answer”.

“ _Hey, sorry about that,_ ” Milo said as soon as they picked up. “ _You were right— I checked my files, and I found… well,_ **_something_** _. It’s heavily encrypted, and I haven’t been able to crack it at all, but I’m pretty sure it’s the virus you mentioned. It’s also, uh, very resistant to deletion._ ” He lowered his voice, and Landia leaned in closer to the screen to try and hear better. “ _Sorry. Guess I’m the one that fucked this up after all, huh?_ ”

Landia’s eyebrows shot up. “What? No! Nononono, it’s— I mean, it’s a mess, but it’s… okay? Things seem to be OK! I mean, it’s… weird, but Broker’s been keeping me safe so far and— and I might be way better off here, actually? ‘Cause of the whole bein’ on an outlaw ship— by the way, this is an outlaw ship! Uh, wait, I probably _shouldn’t_ be saying that… B- But, point is, everything’s cool for now! Also, like, I might be able to make friends, maybe!”

Lan shrugged. “And like, as usual, I don’t really know what my goals are or anything. I’m kinda just… y’know, doin’ things.”

“ _‘Doin’ things’_ ,” Milo echoed. The mechanic didn’t have his camera on this time, but Landia could hear the tired smile. “ _You’re a real wildcard, Lan. Alright. Keep in touch. Don’t worry about me— if the ‘Vex come my way, they won’t find anything._ ”

Landia let out a quiet sigh of relief. Jeez, they hadn’t even been thinking about how their outlaw status would affect T1… They trusted him when he said that, though. Out of the two of them, Milo was the one that had his shit together. “Maybe we should use codenames?” they suggested half-jokingly. “I could be—“

“ _You’ve_ **_got_ ** _a codename,_ ” Milo pointed out. “ _You just also turned it into your regular name._ ”

Landia stuck out their tongue, nevermind the fact that Milo couldn’t see. “Callin’ myself KG all the time across all the whatevers gets confusing, alright? Landia sounds cool, so… I’m Landia. Doesn’t matter either way, ‘cause now I’m out in the world and everybody’s gonna know my name!”

“ ** _You’re an outlaw,_** ” Broker chimed in. Landia nearly dropped their communicator. On the other end of the line, they heard Milo squawk in surprise; the Broker had been using the PA for convenience of talking to both Cara and Landia, and it was loud enough to carry over Landia’s microphone. “ ** _If people know your name, you’re doing it wrong._** ”

Cara huffed in annoyance in the background.

“ _Anyway,_ ” Milo said in a bit of a rush, “ _I’ll see you around. Don’t get yourself killed, alright?_ ”

Landia smiled. “I’ll give it my best go,” they said.

Milo hung up. Landia put their communicator away, then crawled back out of the box fort to stand in front of Cara; they avoided looking up at him, but tried to radiate confidence and positivity and all that jazz. “So, um… if you’re not the captain, and if Broker’s not the captain, then—?” Oh, man, this would’ve been a great “so who’s flying the ship” joke if not for the fact that they’re talking to the pilot with a gun right now. 

“Xeno,” Cara answered. If that name was supposed to ring any bells, it sure didn’t. Cara rolled his eyes at the blank look on Landia’s face. “…I’ll take you to meet them.”

**I think you’ll like them** , Broker said in the back of their head. **And if you’re so worried about being dead weight… Eh, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.**

“That’s pretty okay,” Landia mumbled as they followed Cara down the red-accented halls of _Kakujo Did Nothing Wrong_ to where another ship was docked, because apparently this fleet can just Voltron together into one big ship and, they’re not gonna lie, that’s pretty cool. “I’m good at figurin’ stuff out.”


End file.
